LovEwaY

Dear friends and strangers,

This will be the last post in this friendster blog. I have decided to close down my friendster account for good. No more profile updates, no more blog updates.

It has been roughly 5 months since I last blog. It is funny how I used to complain so much about my work and that, now.. I am totally speechless about it. The rest of the my journey is still in the dark. I guess I will only finalize my plan by the end of this month or perhaps, next month. Time is sort of running out and there are much that I need to do but I just can’t think of where I should begin. My mind has gone blank when thinking about this. I do not know what am I actually waiting for. Have I neglected my own goals?

I want to get a vacation to somewhere where I can meet an old friend, sit down and have a good chat together but… it is just hard. Have indeed been through too much these few months. I am tired, very tired.. right now, just appreciating every moment I have now before embarking to a lifetime war in the coming months.

It’s the third day of work. Time flies swiftly. The day after tomorrow is Saturday. I can finally get some rest after several hectic days of work. The first day of work did make me ponder on several issues. I was wondering whether I have made the right decision. I did not know what I was doing and felt totally lost. It takes 2 days to settle down and just today, I realised I am on the right track. My life does get tougher, more stressful when working with new technologies. Despite the stress, I am beginning to see light in this profession, perhaps, a sign from God. At times when I am about to fall down, I feel the strength which pushes me forward, leading me towards the end. Nothing is easy, I believe if I am willing to learn and put more effort, one day, I will be successful and appreciated. As the saying goes, ’sedikit demi sedikit..lama lama jadi bukit’. It might be tough for now, but it doesn’t mean it will be hard in future. Hard work pays off.

    It’s the first day of work. I am feeling totally exhausted and stressed. I have been monitoring on AVL and installing some interaction software the whole entire day. Wasn’t supposed to ‘kay po’ deal with AVL cause it’s not really my job as I am already assigned to  biometric technology. Another fella will be joining my team tomorrow (hopefully) and work together on this biometric thingy. It is too tense to handle this alone. I love the job but I hate doing the work. The thing I hate most is the serious atmosphere in the company. Everyone is too serious with their work. Nobody talks, nobody bothers. I wonder if anyone would even notice when I am gone. I never thought working in this company will be so tough. Should have taken a friend’s advice; ‘Never to work in a big company’. It is very dangerous to do personal stuff using office pc cause every pc is being monitored. I found the monitoring software in my pc, thought of copying the whole program to be used in my lappy but it is not ethical. I might get blacklisted for the wrongdoing. Well, life is always full of surprises, might not be a good day for me today but hoping tomorrow will be better.

怎么会开始对你有了感觉…

….其实我害怕会失去你的感觉

我会愿意静静地陪在你身边…….

我会把你放心里面……

        I find it rather amusing, when each time a girl is next to me, she will be referred as my girlfriend. Just today, a stranger approached my friend and I regarding a survey form. “Can you and your girlfriend help us with a survey on………”. I smiled, looked at the stranger, clarified that SHE is just a friend in a strict tone. Obviously, everyone looked at me. Feeling a bit paiseh impolite, I gave a very innocent smile then proceeded on with the survey. I guess the person next to me is annoyed as well. Finally, my lil princess sister is getting better today, despite her emotional breakdown yesterday. I felt sorry for what had happened, though I couldn’t help much, don’t provide good advice but I had done what I had to do. Dad didn’t mention a single word on the unforeseen circumstance. Very odd indeed. At times like this, he will babble from A to Z. No doubt that his pestering makes me who I am today *winK*.

        It has been months since I last wrote in this blog. It takes several minutes for me to recall back on what had happened within these few months. Nothing much have changed in my life though, perhaps, just people around me that have changed. I am still who I am. Yeah, of course there are some interesting moments that I have had; some are rather unforgettable while some are pretty harsh to keep as memories. Typical human life.

        Time sure flies in a very fast pace. 27 days to go before celebrating the New Year. I can’t even remember what are my resolutions for this year. Ain’t going to make any next year. I realised I did not make a full use of my free time in this week. This is what I am always seeking for; more time to sleep! Now that I have more than enough time to sleep, I couldn’t make myself sink into a beautiful sleep I desire most. Arrghh* Each time when I begin to close my eyes, thousands…. millions of things just cross my mind.. my brain starts to generate imagination of future events that might or might not happen. No doubt I worry a lot.

        I can’t wait to catch my trip next week. It is the last one I have in this year. No more trip for Christmas. And that is awful. Definitely going to cherish every single minute next week *crossed my heart*. I guess I am starting a new life after the trip. Sadly, with EMPTY POCKETS. Anyway, it is going to be a new beginning for me. More friends, new environment, extreme schedule.. hmm.. Like it or not, I do not have a choice but to accept what’s coming. It’s going to be a heck of a busy life for me again. Work hard, play less, pray more.

今天。。

我真的很不開心。。

我決的很累。。 很累。。

我對她真的很失望。。

她一點都不在乎我。。

她真的愛我嗎﹖

睢然矢去了。。至少我們曾經擁有。。

和她一起笑著走過的一段路。。

All these precious moments
With you by my side
Must be a gift from heaven
That ’s holding me all night
I don ‘t know how I found you
I ‘m thankful that I have
Now that I have a love so true
To hold , to keep , to share
In my heart , I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
I ‘ll always be with you untill the very end
In this world , there is no place I ‘d rather be
You are my life , my soul , my girl
And through it all
I know that you ‘ve come to see that
You ‘re the one till the end
All my friend around me
Say you ‘d be gone too soon
Baby , I ‘m gonna make them see
We ‘ve found our way back home
In my heart , I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
I ‘ll always be with you untill the very end
In this world , there is no place I ‘d rather be
You are my life , my soul , my girl
And through it all I know that you ‘ve come to see that
You ‘re the one till the end
We ‘ll always be till the end

1.      What time is it?

8.40 pm

2.      What’s your full name?

J.C.C.L

3.      What are you most afraid of?

Let’s change it to WHO am I most afraid of? Definitely my gal!

4.      What is the most recent movie that you have seen?

Game Plan. I give it a 4/5!

5.      Place of birth?

Kuching

6.      Favourite food?

Mummy’s special meal.

7.      What’s your natural hair color

Pure Black

8.      Ever been a Neat Freak?

Ya. During high school with a freaking tie >.<

9.      Ever been skinny dipping?

Nope

10.  Love someone so much it made you cry?

Hmm…………..

11.  Been in a car accident?

Not when I am driving.. lol so far I don’t have a record of that.

12.  Croutons or bacon bits?

Who cares?

13.  Favourite day of the week?

The day when baobei tells me she misses me so much….

14.  Favourite restaurant?

Me and baobei’s fav restaurant..causeway bay..

15.  Favourite flower?

I don’t like flowers

16.  Favourite sport to watch?

Tennis!!!!

17.  Favourite drink?

Any juice

18.  Favourite ice cream?

Vanilla

19.  Warner Brothers/Disney?

How about Chang Brothers?

20.  Ever been on a ship?

Of course! Many times indeed…

21.  What colour is your bedroom carpet?

My bedroom has a carpet??????

22.  How many times did you fail your driver’s test?

Duh!!

23.  What do you do when you are bored?

Find baobei…

24.  Bedtime?

Do I have a bedtime?

25.  Favourite TV shows?

ANTM, DHW, CSI, HEROES……

26.  Last person you went to dinner with?

Urm…don’t remember…

27.  Park or zoo?

The BED!!

28.  What are your favourite colours?

The Yin & Yang colours…

29.  How many tattoos do you have?

None….

30.  How many pets do you have?

I hate animals!!

31.  Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Both…

32.  What do you want to do before you die?

Tell baobei I love her forever…wish we can be together in the next generation…

33.  Have you ever been to Hawaii?

Yeah. In my dream…

34.  Have you been to countries outside US?

Definitely…

35.  Time this survey ended?

11.20 pm.. *don’t ask why*